I was talking to Angel Tuccy the other day and she told me that her child saw her picture on the Experience Pros website and told her that her teacher said that it was not safe to have a picture online. This is true for a 6th grader but how do we show our kids how to be safe online if we are figuring this out for ourselves as we go? Unlike most articles on this topic I am not going to tell you to just block sites and move on but rather I hope to encourage you to have an open dialogue with your child about what is safe and what is not safe to do online.

The first thing for every parent to realize is that if you just lock down your computer and make access to the Internet like walking through Fort Knox your kids will go to their friend's house where this not the case or even the public library. I am shocked on a regular basis at some of the things that I see on kid's screens as I walk past the bank of computers at the front of the Castlewood Library

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The second thing is to realize that pushing your kids completely away from the dangerous parts of the Internet is not going to work because the social components of the Internet are moving into every nook and cranny of the Internet. Kids are feeling that it's OK to put information on this network and not on some other network without guidelines as to why.

The Internet is forcing us to figure out how to redefine many terms. One of the more significant examples is redefining what public means. We used to have a clear definition of what it meant to be in public but now when my 21 year-old sister tells me that Facebook is not a public forum I must cringe. I would argue that public is any place where people other than those you are close with (family, friends, classmates, business partners) are given an opportunity to interact with you. In these public situations discussion is key for helping your child to decide what to tell someone. A social network for a school is not public in this case so long as the school has made it so that only students, parents, teachers and administrators can access it. Facebook, even with its security settings, is a very public forum.

Things no one, regardless of age, should post the following types of things on online in public places (an over generalization is occurring here because there will be times in somewhat more secure networks when this information will be shared):

• Home phone
• Home address
• Kids names, ages and times and location of soccer practice

I don't think you can include pictures of your children any more on this list because everyone wants to see your kids growing up and they socialize with you on Facebook and Flickr and interact with family members on Geni. Each of these sites has the ability to control who can see what information but it is not fool proof.

Here are things your kids should not share online in public forums:

• Age or Grade
• Times they will be places
• Private information about them and their friends School, Scout Troop Numbers, Club Names, Team Names
• Information about your friends that you would not sure online

None of this can be hard fast rules as even church groups are venturing into Facebook as an event planning tool. Closed groups and network settings are a start but not a sure-fire solution.

You should keep your access to the computer separate from your child's access to the computer. Not only does this mean that you can't keep things open when they use the computer you must make sure they stay out of your Internet use. Windows 95 and later as well as the Mac Operating System can do this.

I am less in support of filtering software and more in support of keeping a watchful eye on your child. Children should not have Internet connected computers in their rooms and if they do an open door policy is best. Kids, about 4th grade and up, need the Internet to do their ever growing load of homework and giving them a place to do this is important. I like Safe Eyes for monitoring what your child is doing and if necessary putting up filters to control what sites they can access. You can also look at Net Nanny and the features built into Windows Vista. Safe Eyes will keep a log of chat products or ban them all together for watching what your kids are chatting about as this may be the most dangerous part of the Internet.

Talking to your children about online safety will not be the easiest thing but just like you have to talk about strangers in the real world you must talk about them in the online world.
For further reading you can go to National Cyber Alert System Keeping Children Safe Online and the FBI's publication that has great information about what to do if you think your child is having inappropriate contact with someone. The Girls Scouts have published a great pledge to help children decide what is safe to do online.
Honest and open dialogue is the best way to keep your kids safe online as well as teaching them common sense safety guidelines.